weilok @ 09:07 pm: dc

Sorry for the post but i need to get this out and off.
Just got the call from the vet. DC my baby cat is dying from renal failure brought on by a growth on her kidneys. No she will not survive the operation so Monday at 9:30 I take her in to be released from this life. I have had her since she was less than 2 months old, Cor found her in a dumpster outside her high school. Cor was dressed up for her piano recital and heard a kitten mewing in the big green dumpster outside the school. She climbed in and got her out, then called me from the school to see if I could come get the kitten and, "Oh can you bring me a new pair of hose I got a run in these." I called Colette to go do the run and called my vet Dr. Brown to let him know we were bringing in a cast off and I would pay for her treatments.
She had a ringworm on her foot and that was why she had to be kept separate from the other cats for 1 week. I found out she was feral for food and starved for love. I supplied both and we bonded, very tightly. She has been my confidante, the one who made me get up and take care of her and me when the depression was so overwhelming. She demanded I care and keep going so I did. It got better as I learned to cope with having no family or close friends near me. As I learned that no I cannot make close friends in just a few years, friends yes the ones I can count on no matter what, no. The ones you can fight with today and go shopping with tomorrow no. I am learning how to be whole while alone, without smothering Arasin, or demanding what he cannot supply.
Gods and Goddess this is so hard. Arasin called his boss and talked him into having Monday morning off to help me. This is hurting him a lot also, he is trying not to cry or show it too much so I can hang in there.
Sucks!
Current Mood: 
distressed